Milan Fall Winter Fashion Week 2014: Horrors

By Jael Paris - March 27, 2014

A cop top, sheer skirt, and booty shorts? Smells like autumn. (Aquilano.Rimondi)

I bet this jacket looks better when she wears the full offensive line padding underneath. (Aquilano.Rimondi)

Grody combover horrors have continued in Milan. (Marni)

Those arm bands are an early teleportation device, but if you don't calibrate each one perfectly you risk losing a leg or your outfit. (Dsquared2)

What is black, white and red all over? (Roberto Cavalli)

If Sully and the Abominable Snowman from Monsters Inc produced offspring, it would have been skinned and turned into this coat, which is sad because that would be a pretty cool monster. (Emporio Armani)

Comparmentalized fanny packs are going to be all the rage. (Missoni)

This dress makes it look like this pokemon (Haunter) is eating the model. (Emilio Pucci)*

*Much of the copy of this post was written by becca. I just want to make it clear that Pokemon and I have zero relationship.

Where can I get a flexible shower curtain rod? This look seems pretty easy to make. (Emilio Pucci)

I would love this if it had a liner. (Emilio Pucci)

Jeremy Scott is the new head designer at Moschino and no one does junk culture quite like he does. And there is something about the collection as a whole that is quite interesting. However, this show was built for our horror posts, and I couldn't resist. The rest of these are from the Moschino runway.

If Mrs. Ronald McDonald ran for office, she would wear this.

Who doesn't want the words "over 20 billion served" written just above crotch level?

Comments that will be overhead if you wear this on the street: "That cow." "She's a mooover and a shaker." "Got milk?" "I'd like a bite of that burger." (Lewd comment about milking).

This one is for the handbag, which might be kind of brilliant. Who wants to carry their 44-ounce soda?

Do you want fries with that?

I pity the fool who pays for this.

Ummm...

Overheard at the design meeting:
You know how women keep money and other stuff in their bras?
Yeah, we could make a bra that was meant to hold stuff!
Better yet, we could make a purse that also holds boobs.