The Emmys and VMAs by the Numbers

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The VMAs were Sunday and the Emmys were Monday. The fashion at these two event could not have been further apart, so I'm going to mash them together in one post. Why? Because the VMAs demand wildness, sex and questionable taste and the Emmys a tricky best-dressed-classic-yet-modern dance. Yet it's almost all boring and predictable. (Thank you Teyonah Parris and Kate Walsh for injecting the weekend with some memorable style!)

Let's do some fashion math. We're trying to solve these questions: How much sex does a pop star have to sell if all the other pop stars are peddling the same sex? Can any outfit be shocking when it all feels so staged? What is it about actresses that makes them cling to fashion safety? Is it because singers are selling their personality to the crowd but actresses are selling a blank slate to a casting director? Being on a worst dressed list -- always a possibility if you're trying something new -- doesn't seem to affect a singer's sales. Does it affect the roles and actress is offered?
 

7 Ladies in Red
Christina Hendricks, Mindy Kaling, Rita Ora
January Jones, Kaley Cuoco
Uzo Aduba, Julia Louis-Dreyfus

1 Unexpected Resurfacing of Kim Kardashian's Wedding Dress
Claire Danes
3 Women in White-ish
Sofia Vergara, Iggy Azalea, Danielle Brooks
4 Times Bright was Right
Kate Walsh and Anne Boleyn took standing lessons together.
Teyonah Parris, Kerry Washington

3 Dresses That Could Be Bed Sheets 
Kate Mara, Jessie J, Julianne Hough

4 Tummy Windows
Lucy Hale, Michelle Dockery, Miley Cyrus, Ariel Winter

3 Attempts to Try Something New
Taylor Swift in a print romper, Kesha in a beautiful gown
Lena Dunham, who could have pulled this off with a properly fitted top.

2 Baby Bumps
Hayden Panettiere, Kelly Rowland
4 Dresses We're Stealing
Allison Williams, Julia Roberts, Teyonah Parris (np), Kate Walsh (np)

2 Gwen Stefanis
Which is your favorite?

2 Bad Nostalgia Trips
Katy Perry loving Britney Spears and Amber Rose's NSFW (and not pictured) homage to Rose McGowan.

It seems to me the relative dullness of the Emmy red carpet is a two pronged problem rooted in money. First, our culture has this weird thing now where it's considered tacky if a celebrity buys a dress. Seriously. Hayden Panettiere felt backlash in January for buying a Tom Ford she liked after the house wouldn't loan her a dress. Remember when celebrities used to auction off their red carpet dresses for charity? Constantly borrowing clothes means stars have to jockey for position. The brightest stars get first pick and probably more fittings. (This also contributes to stars trying to fit in a sample size.) And if you have enough wattage, you can get a contract with a fashion house to face their perfume or skin creme or bags. That's $20-$30 million a year for light work, plus a major house will shower you with gifts. But land yourself on Vogue's worst dressed list enough and the fashion houses won't consider you as a brand ambassador.

Tasteless popstars? Well, that's just tradition.


Image source: IMDB, Vulture

Comments

Liz Parker said…
Interesting recap. I didn't watch the VMAs but heard the outfits were insane :). I did watch the emmys. I agree with you re: Lena Dunham, I love her on Girls but she never really dresses well, IMO.
August 28, 2014 at 9:09 AM
Anonymous said…
I love hearing all of the reasons behind clothing choices. It's not "just because." It's a little maddening to think of how difficult it must be to...well, to just express yourself through clothing as a celebrity at an awards show.

NB

August 28, 2014 at 10:45 PM
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