Ode to Black Skinny Jeans

Last year for Halloween I wanted to be Death from the Sandman comics . To do this, I needed black pants. This seems like a straightforward clothing item that I would already have, but you're assuming I'm the kind of person who can find pants that fit. I'm not that kind of person. I really don't own many pants. Because I hate shopping for pants, and because I didn't want to spend a lot of money on pants I probably wouldn't wear often, I grabbed these black skinny jeans on super sale at Target. I think I paid $14. They are usually $28. They fit OK, which is better than most pants fit. They were actual skinny pants not leggings. They were cheap. They were black. I figured they would work for Halloween and maybe I would wear them on cold days at work if they didn't fall down too much. (They fall down a little). It turns out these jeans, despite all the stretch in them, really shape to your body. After wearing the Halloween costume a few places, the pants ha...